Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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