The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
