Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
