FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
