I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
