the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
This toilet bowl is my home.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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