Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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