i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
