come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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