I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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