Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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