3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
