the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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