i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
