But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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