Well apparently he's into motor boating.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I have fence marks all over my body
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
