my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i think my tv is drunk
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
