There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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