You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
