Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
