So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
