Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize