yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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