so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
