I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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