have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Randomize
