Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
