Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
