yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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