R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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