the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
