Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
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No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
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And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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