i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize