We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize