walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
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