Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
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there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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