we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
