I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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