He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
