took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
