worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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