we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
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Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
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I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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