whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
