Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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