High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
