i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
