I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
