so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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