he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
