we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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