a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
jump out the window naked night went bad
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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