i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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