there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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