If that was your dad, he is hot
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
