Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
