i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
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I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
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I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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