Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You ate ashes out of my bong
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
