So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
