I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
