I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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