i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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