I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
two words...techno handjob
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
