she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
